A social life? Is there an app for that?
Digital me in digital London

Well, in recent months I’ve found myself succumbing to the craze of the Kim Kardashian game app. It’s allowed me to explore the less earnest sides of myself, to put it lightly. I absolutely DID NOT DO THE HACK* meaning all my hard earned cash goes straight into funding my pixelated #luxurybitch lifestyle. I am everything I despise in real life: all I do is party, spend money and do photoshoots. I taxi/fly everywhere (UPDATE: since beginning this draft I have bought a private fucking jet!) with little regard for the environment. I own ghost apartments in cities around the world that I only inhabit every now again, and occasionally throw a party at (although Daniel, I always invite my urban planner friend, Ava. Gotta keep you guys on side). I have pets in some of them although I have no idea who looks after them when I’m not there. Pretty sure my version of Boo the dog in Miami is dead by now. Shit, even the fur collars I wear are probably real. I didn’t ask. I just dropped those K-coins like they were pennies in a jar!

But hey, at least I’m not Willow Pape.

I’ve even got a husband! Picked up either in a club in Vegas or a restaurant in Paris, I dunno where. Sometimes I put hipster glasses on him and hate myself for it because really, I probably do want a hot hipster douchebag with chiseled cheekbones and NHS specs who says shit like this IRL:

me and my digital husband

*digitally swoons*

But, back to the most important (IMPORTANT!) aspect of the game: those clothes. They’re pretty sweet. Handily, there’s no diversity in body type in the game: you’re automatically given one of those pesky athletic-yet-booby ones, which means unlike in real life, everything fits! That last sentence was presented entirely without comment, by the way.

Guess what though: I only went and found some actual clothes that evoke the clothes from the game – and in plus sizes! Are you ready?

Kim Kardashian: Hollywood dress vs similar dress from Boohoo

Bodycon dress on the right by Boohoo.

Kim Kardashian taupe and lace dress vs pink and lace dress by Boohoo

This is a little bit inverted, lace-wise. Although in my humble opinion the real life version by Boohoo is actually nicer!

Kim K game grecian dress on the left, and a similar real life version on the right

The colour of this Little Mistress gown is more of a royal blue than the game’s green, but it’s still pretty lovely.

Kim K game red and black strapless dress on the left, real life outfit on the right

I am SO in love with this Boohoo bustier even though I don’t really have the ta-tas to fill it paired with a red PVC pencil skirt? Not for the faint hearted!

Black lace bodycon Kim K game dress on the left, with a real version on the right

To be fair, there are hundreds of versions of this dress online – especially when you discounted the floral lace. But I like this one from ASOS – and the model is making the same pose! (I taught her everything she knows.)

Kim K version of Willow Pape's white and coral dress on the left, with a real version on the right

So you really want to dress like Willow Pape, huh? Honestly. Look how mad I am at having to wear her shitty dress! But if needs must, Boohoo’s got it. The skirt is a darker colour than Willow’s coral but, given Pape’s a bit of a lush, the actual dress is likely covered in merlot stains anyway.

So there you go: you too can be a vacuous and well dressed celebrity! Anyway, must dash, have so many parties to attend and dates at expensive restaurants with husband.

Shame they’re all pixelated.

 

*I totally did


  • http://nicolettemason.blogspot.com nicolette

    this is VERY IMPRESSIVE

  • http://jaymiranda.com/ Jay Miranda

    This post is legend.

  • http://fashionloveandmartinis.com/ Amanda_Allison

    Brilliant .

  • http://extralargeaslife.com/ Natalie Mulford

    This post = AMAZING!

  • http://wolfwhistle.org/ Amy

    You’re my hero.

  • http://theshoegirldiaries.blogspot.com/ Pink Haired Princess

    Oh God, thank goodness I don’t have a fancy phone to get this, I’d lose my life to it!! I was proper obsessed with The Sims 2 until my PC f’d up years ago and I probably lost all those amazingly decorated apartments, relationships, great careers and cute babies I made and raised! I daren’t even set it up these days. I’m also (far too old for but) on Stardoll. My house is amazing, I wear designer shizzle, have pets that blink and life is good! You can actually choose body type on that (the upper and lower body have 3 different sizes), needless to say I’m curviest on both and I get so pissed when clothes don’t fit in the shop. Seriously, even in pixel land those dudes screw with me and make me feel fat!

    P.S. your pixel husband is seriously hot!

  • Ago Prime
  • http://www.indiansavage.com/ Maggie Dallospedale