Outfit: Burger Queen Heat

TW: fat hate, body shame.

Yup, I’m still gonna go on about this! I took part in this week’s heat. It was one of the most hilarious, bizarre and absolutely wonderful  evenings I’ve ever had. And to top it all off I bloody WON, which means I’m taking part in the final on March 29th along with Bethany and Charlotte. So I don’t even care about winning, I just know it’s going to be amazing fun and a really supportive night alongside two of my heroes and I can’t wait!

Here is what I wore…

Dress: ASOS Curve (old-ish)
Shoes: Torrid (a gift from a couple of years ago)
Brooch: Gift
Hairband: Can’t even remember – Primark, probably!

I was also wearing my LDN XL GRRRLS badge (I brought my Big Bum Jumble badge too but it got lost in my bag!).

I’m… actually quite scared about putting this picture up. I’d already worn this dress when I first bought it, way back when I was still wordpress.com, and I’d been waiting for an occasion fancy enough to wear it again. Since then I’ve put on more weight, so an already tight dress was now even tighter. My mum tried to dissuade me from wearing it to Burger Queen, pretty much voicing out loud my niggling inner concerns. They’ll laugh at you, she said. You’ll be an object of ridicule – why do this to yourself? Why invite that hatred? But the rational part of me won out. If there was anywhere I could wear this dress proudly and honestly, it would be Burger Queen. I knew that they would be laughing but for the most part it’d be alongside me, not at me. I knew that there were bigger personalities, a tonne of more outrageousness in the room meaning the tightness of my dress, the way it clung to my belly and bum? An absolute moot point.

I packed some shapewear just in case. I didn’t bother wearing it. And you know what? I felt like a million fackin’ dollars.

— end trigger warning! —

The night itself was just awesome. My best friends all turned out which was so lovely – they also bought me the best birthday present EVER which you will be seeing on outfit posts in the future! It was also really lovely to see Bethany, Stacy, Charlotte and Kay and I wish I’d gotten to talk to you all more. Scottee and the team – Annabel, Becky, Josh and Roy – were all just fabulous and awesome, I was a bit starstruck meeting them and Amy Lame, of course! The other contestants, Lewis and Darren, were great as well. I was so pleased they were nice, and didn’t mind me nervously babbling for about 3 hours in the dressing room. I’d have been really pleased if either of them had won, aww.

We really lucked out with the judges this week: LISA STANSFIELD!!! If I’d have known I’d have brought my 7″s from the 80s! BOBBY CRUSH! ALISON HAMMOND! I’d actually met her before at Yours, but I dunno if she recognised me (probably not). IMMODESTY BLAIZE! Actually my favourite burlesque artist, I like her even more than Dita. And by some bizarre twist of fate, Nancy Dell’olio turned up as a punter, omg. I made a quip in the trend round that I was trying to emulate her glamour. Nancy was asked her thoughts and she replied “…She tried?” AHAHAHAHA. After it finished, she actually caught me and said “congratulations, I was rooting for you!” oh man. So, so funny!

My “talent” was a recital of Kim Selling’s Fat Bottomed Girls poem. Thanks so much for letting me have a go! It was a bit hammy and I was so nervous but I think people enjoyed it. I know one or two of the judges marked me down because I didn’t write it, which is a fair point really. The last round was “taste” and I made a white chocolate and raspberry cheesecake. The judges LOVED it. If anyone fancies having a go, here’s the recipe! I seriously don’t know why it sends people into a frenzy but I’m glad they liked it.

So… yeah. What a night! And I had to go to the jobcentre the next day. Talk about coming down to earth with a bang, eh?